anxiety
does compassion have a down-side?
Old Monk on Sat 04 Sep 2010 at 8:48 AM
Silly question, you say? Isn't that what your life is all about? To suffer-with others in order to be their companion, helper, and guide? Doesn't your heart delight in the phrases of the 8th Century
Topics: lifestyle
heart hunger
Old Monk on Wed 01 Sep 2010 at 6:59 AM
In preparation for leading a day-long retreat on "baking and eating our daily bread,” I've been paying attention to my eating habits. Food and I have long been in a problematic relationship, marked b
Topics: lifestyle
worthy of an upgrade
Old Monk on Tue 31 Aug 2010 at 8:15 AM
I'm teaching today and won't be able to post till later. Before heading out I found this comment by Chong Go Sunim, a blogger-friend who lives as a monk in Korea. On the topic of "what am I afraid of
Topics: lifestyle
what exactly am i afraid of?
Old Monk on Sun 29 Aug 2010 at 7:06 AM
I can't say what it is that scares me about dying. If not pain and discomfort at the end, what then? Material things, worldly achievements, human connections - is losing those what scares me? How can t
Topics: lifestyle
we need a bigger boat
Old Monk on Wed 18 Aug 2010 at 9:18 AM
In her book Seeking peace: chronicles of the worst buddhist in the world, psychologist Mary Pipher chronicles her ”polite breakdown” when, after many years of building a successful career of he
Topics: lifestyle
is this my path?
Old Monk on Thu 12 Aug 2010 at 4:00 PM
I've written previously about my understanding of "the path” as that which presents itself in each moment, regardless of whether I like it or not, find it pleasant or not, or had planned that way.
Topics: lifestyle
Lily of the Ages: Camouflage Jacket
Smoking Lily on Sat 31 Jul 2010 at 11:43 AM
I was looking through my closets for some old Lily garment to post, when I came across my Camouflage Jacket. I have worn, and loved, this jacket for 5 years. Every Fall it gets pulled out and gets ch
Topics: fashion
you worry too much!
Old Monk on Sat 10 Jul 2010 at 8:36 AM
For the last 24 hours my mind has been in a state of confusion - multiple choices make my head spin. Shall I do this instead of that? Let go of one thing or hold on to another? Drop something altogethe
Topics: lifestyle
facing my inability to cure others' pain
Old Monk on Mon 05 Jul 2010 at 6:29 AM
All day long I've kept a low profile. When no-one showed up for morning meditation, I sat just long enough for the incense to burn (about half an hour) before going back to bed, fully-clothed, to slee
Topics: lifestyle
what's 'not right' about yesterday's post?
Old Monk on Tue 29 Jun 2010 at 6:56 AM
The moment I read the comment from B. saying that she too had been disturbed by the US Supreme Court's decision regarding the unrestricted right to bear arms, I realized that I'd made a mistake. Lookin
Topics: lifestyle
meditation 101: working with vertigo
Old Monk on Wed 16 Jun 2010 at 7:06 AM
What a weird sensation. Here I am, happy as a clam, spending a few days at the monastery when, all of a sudden, I experience a prolonged sense of vertigo. I've had this several times before over the
Topics: lifestyle
my so-called depression
Old Monk on Sat 05 Jun 2010 at 6:43 AM
I've suffered from a mental disorder called depression for much of my adult life. First diagnosed 35 years ago - after repeatedly falling asleep at my desk, feeling listless and hopeless for long stre
Topics: lifestyle
this could be y/our last day
Old Monk on Wed 02 Jun 2010 at 9:22 AM
It's normal to start each day with a quick preview of what lies ahead. What are my appointments, dates, commitments? When do I have to be where? What do I have to get done by when and with whom? How am
Topics: lifestyle
our sunday poem / antonio machado
Old Monk on Sun 30 May 2010 at 6:00 AM
Is my soul asleep? Have those beehives that work in the night stopped? And the water- wheel of thought, is it going around now, cups empty, carrying only shadows? No, my soul is not asleep. It is awake
Topics: lifestyle
meditation 101: working with sadness
Old Monk on Sat 29 May 2010 at 8:08 AM
From the moment I woke up yesterday, I felt disturbed and off-centre. Searching my memory for a reason, I came up with one explanation after another: bad dream, the movie I saw late last night, the u
Topics: lifestyle
sunday blessing
Old Monk on Sun 23 May 2010 at 7:32 AM
May you rise each day with a voice of blessing whispering in your heart that something good is going to happen to you. May your angel free you from the prisons of guilt, fear, disappointment, and despa
Topics: lifestyle
marvelling
Old Monk on Mon 17 May 2010 at 7:15 AM
Following the theme of Saturday's post, I continue to marvel at this current state of well-being. Out of habit, I wait for the other shoe to drop: for depression to descend, boredom to return, and d
Topics: lifestyle
close call
Old Monk on Thu 13 May 2010 at 7:31 AM
An incident yesterday, lasting perhaps 10 seconds, reminded me of the unstable nature of mental states. Walking home from a one-hour workout at the beach, feeling in my body, sore and happy, with the s
Topics: lifestyle
tears
Old Monk on Mon 10 May 2010 at 12:26 PM
The topic of weeping, particularly in public and the company of others (see Saturday's post) yielded a bounty of responses. Thank you all for writing. You opened me to weeping beyond expressions of sad
Topics: lifestyle
the shadow side of awakening
Old Monk on Tue 20 Apr 2010 at 9:47 AM
A friend told me that every time we get together, he experiences an overwhelming sense of anger. "I don't even want to talk about it, I'm feeling rage even as we talk together,” he explained, "I've c
Topics: lifestyle
what to make of dreams
Old Monk on Sat 10 Apr 2010 at 7:08 AM
Last night's nightmare was set in a strange house which appeared to be my home. People arrived for dinner in couples and small groups; one man announced that 21 more were on their way. I recognized so
Topics: lifestyle
nothing short of total acceptance
Old Monk on Wed 07 Apr 2010 at 7:00 AM
Following yesterday's inquiry regarding the discomfort surrounding self-care, I took the day to let the question What is this? wash through me. Spent an afternoon at the cancer clinic, assisting patien
Topics: lifestyle
the under belly of self-care
Old Monk on Tue 06 Apr 2010 at 9:57 AM
What a weird phenomenon. Having promised to take better care of my/self, I have 'spoiled' my/self with a personal trainer three times a week; a nutritionist to analyze my eating habits and calorie imb
Topics: lifestyle
dis-connect
Old Monk on Thu 25 Mar 2010 at 5:43 AM
In a busy restaurant recently, while looking around for a newspaper, I spotted five young women, trendy dressers all (i.e. virtually identical), sitting at a table. In my peripheral vision I noted the
Topics: lifestyle
hello super-ego!
Old Monk on Tue 23 Mar 2010 at 6:01 AM
Nicole's comment to yesterday's post made me look a little closer at how children take adults' behaviors and opinions on board and make them their own in the form of the super-ego. It's a term Sigmund
Topics: lifestyle
who's your teacher today?
Old Monk on Fri 19 Mar 2010 at 7:28 AM
Everything is rolling along nicely, health is slowly restored, a bit of money set aside, and robins busy building their spring-time nests. What could be finer? (Well, there's always something that coul
Topics: lifestyle
bringing the extra-ordinary to the ordinary
Old Monk on Sat 06 Mar 2010 at 9:59 AM
Just finished speaking to my spiritual coach in California. We'd spent an hour reviewing my recent activities around grieving and serving. I reported that one item that troubled (puzzled) me is the end
Topics: lifestyle
coming out
Old Monk on Fri 05 Mar 2010 at 7:58 AM
Death is the "great teacher” most of us would rather not be a student of. We know that, like birth, illness, and old age, death is a certainty and a natural part of being human. In the moment of bir
Topics: lifestyle
stress: causes and risks
Old Monk on Wed 03 Mar 2010 at 6:57 AM
Several people who've watched me over the last few months have commented that No wonder you're throwing up … been sleeping 10-12 hours a day … turning off the telephone and keeping a low profil
Topics: lifestyle
the forces of darkness (within)
Old Monk on Sat 27 Feb 2010 at 6:20 AM
I've lived with depressive disorder for 38 years. It's never been bad enough for institutional admission or attempts at suicide, but severe enough to cause deep misery for days on end. No hope, no l
Topics: lifestyle
suffering pulls you up
Old Monk on Tue 23 Feb 2010 at 6:48 AM
Went to see the lawyer yesterday to sign reams of paper related to the sale of my old home. As I look back over the various accidents, incidents, and illnesses that have come my over the last six month
Topics: lifestyle
if only i didn't have to throw up
Old Monk on Mon 22 Feb 2010 at 9:15 AM
"The substitute life is a very narrow way of living. This narrowness is rooted in our need to feel comfortable, to cling to what is familiar and safe,” writes Ezra Bayda. His words ring especially tr
Topics: lifestyle
uncluttering
Old Monk on Wed 10 Feb 2010 at 6:44 AM
Something I learned while living at a Zen monastery (and on retreats elsewhere) is simplicity and directness in everything that's done there. Our meditation hall has bare wood floor, rows of square cu
Topics: lifestyle
when in deep water, become a diver
Old Monk on Sat 06 Feb 2010 at 6:12 AM
Some of you are familiar with a personal loss I incurred almost three years ago. In spite of my experience of being around people dealing with death and loss, I'm astonished by how long my grieving
Topics: lifestyle
towards the unfamiliar
Old Monk on Sat 16 Jan 2010 at 9:53 PM
I'm living in a phase of withdrawal (from posting here), marked by stop-start examining of ways in which I'm able to extend loving attention to others (especially those who're suffering and/or are
Topics: lifestyle
self-imposed exile
Old Monk on Tue 12 Jan 2010 at 2:47 PM
In his latest book, Zen teacher Ezra Bayda explores "the things we fear the most.” No wonder I'm drawn to his writing: he examines ordinary everyday issues through the lenses of ancient teachings wi
Topics: lifestyle
hungry for what?
Old Monk on Sat 09 Jan 2010 at 6:26 PM
Last night a friend asked how I take care of my/self. I squirmed for a bit, then confessed that my eating habits are hit-and-miss and I don't exercise. So, she summed up the obvious, you're good at l
Topics: lifestyle
Events in Victoria
07 Sep 2010
Cut Offs -Theme Party- Jeremy Baker (The Zone), Arowbe of Times Neue Roman, Dj Nigel at Lucky Bar
3:30 PM
MAX & RUBY LIVE at Royal Theatre
6:30 PM
MAX & RUBY LIVE at Royal Theatre
7:00 PM
SEBASTIAN BRITNEFF at The Superior
08 Sep 2010
Victoria Welsh Society presents: Cor Godre'r Aran, Welsh Male Voice Choir at Alix Goolden Hall
Rock Island Ramblers at Hermann's Jazz Club
